project 52.11


strengthening.


Since I learned y'all were coming, I have become stronger.

I've been surprised by how quickly the "mama bear" mentality has come.  From y'all being in the NICU to having preemies at home and  following strict orders from the doctor. 
We've had to say no to lots of things.  And we've had to put y'all first.  Your health.  Above our social schedules.  Above our idea of what it would be like when you came home.  Our idea that we would be around lots of family and friends from Day One.  But, as much as I like to please people, this was a non-negotiable.  I was willing to do whatever it took.  Even if it meant inconvenience and letting go of plans.  I hated this for others.  But, I was willing to do what was necessary to protect both of you.

I have also realized things that are important to me. 
Some, that are a little out of the ordinary.
And I've fought to make certain things happen because they are important to me.

Cloth diapering.
Breastfeeding twins.
Clotheslines.  
Living simply.
Staying at home with y'all.

I've also learned to let go of things that aren't as important.

The comfort of dual incomes.
An ideal, spotless home.
People's opinions of us.

 I am finding out more and more about myself in this new role as your mommy.
And, I'm loving it.  

I pray that I will never stop learning and growing stronger in this new role. 
It is refreshing and exhausting and beautiful.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.