preparing my heart.

I just read this post from my friend, Heather.


She titled it Radical Obedience and talked about how he biggest desire for her son's life is that he be radically obedient to Jesus.  No, her biggest desire isn't that he is happy.  Although we all do want that.  But the most important thing is that he be radically obedient to the call that God has on his life even when it's hard.


You should read it.  Seriously.


I left this comment in response:


"Oh my word. SO good. And so true! I was just talking to one of the boys the other day while I was rocking him and I told him something similar. That I wanted him to love Jesus with every ounce of his being. And obey Him even when it seemed crazy - even when He was leading him in some way that seemed crazy from a worldly perspective.

 I'm sure his four month old mind processed all of that perfectly. "


And then it also made me realize that I need to prepare my heart for that too. 


Because this mama's heart will want to keep them safe and sheltered as they grow up. 


But nothing about being "radically obedient" to Jesus is safe and sheltered. 


So, I need to be ready to trust Jesus with these precious little lives. Knowing that He has a plan for their lives that is not always going to be the easy, safe road but it will be a plan that will bring glory to His kingdom. 


Which will be beautiful and messy but oh, so worth every second.


I pray that for Crews and Tate.  That they will be radically obedient.


And I hope to remember this one day if one of them comes home and tells me he is moving to Uganda or that he's giving up everything to pursue something that seems crazy to me but something the Lord has specifically laid on his heart.


It will be tough.  Especially when it's dangerous and not "by the book".  When I know that the road won't be easy.  And that I can't shelter him every step of the way.  But I trust Jesus.  And I am so thankful that He has entrusted me to lead them to Him so He can use them for His glory.